Goodbye, Mama

Last night my grandmother passed away. Upon hearing the news, I've gone through a plethora of emotions from sadness and solemness to peacefulness and happiness. Today has been a bizarre day as I struggle to hold back tears and yet come to grips that I'll never see her again.


We all called her Mama (pronounced Muh-Muh), which was what she called her mother. Mama was a unique lady. She was tough on the outside but underneath the veneer she was a thoughtful, warm, youthful woman who had a wonderful sense of humor. Her chuckle was infectious - anytime you heard her laugh it would inexplicably create laughter for all!


Some of my earliest memories of Mama was when I was about four or five years old. Those were my "rough" years, as I was adjusting to gaining a baby sister and not being the center of attention anymore. At the time, I had somewhat of a displaced sense of humor that oftentimes was mistaken for being bratty and rude. Admittedly, I did offend some - such as the time that I told my aunt that she was an "ugly lady" (although she's far from it). While I stepped on the toes of many, Mama always seemed to understand my sense of humor and take it in stride. She used to come up behind me and "squeeze my peaches" (butt cheeks) and it would instantly cause me to erupt in laughter. I was so amused by her squeezing my peaches, that I would ask her to do it and say it over and over again. It must have driven her nuts, but she never let me know it.

Since my family is from the Buffalo, NY area, we have always been dedicated Bills fans. Mama was no exception. During the Bills' glory days, she would sit on the couch on Sunday afternoons and cheer for them. I got to experience one such occasion that has left a lasting impression on me several years later. We were at my Uncle Matt's house and Mama, with beer in hand, sat down and started to watch the game. After only a couple of minutes of watching the game, Mama's blood starting to boil after the Bills, in typical fashion, started to let the game slip away. It was hilarious to witness my grandmother on the couch going nuts and yelling at the players to shape up and start playing football like real men!


Mama was also incredibly thoughtful and humble. She came to Wilmington in the summer of 2000 after my mom had major surgery. Mama was there to not only take care of mom in recovery, but also to take care of the household in lieu of mom's absence. I remember coming home one day from the beach, and Mama had already cooked dinner, cleaned the house, made sure mom was comfortable, and was scrubbing under the stovetop burners with a toothbrush! If you were fortunate enough to have Mama cook for you, you wouldn't go hungry because she would make a pot of spaghetti or soup enough for an entire Army Battalion. I suppose that is the way to do it when you have seven children and sixteen grandchildren. Anytime you ate at her house, Mama would make sure you had plenty to eat, plenty to drink, and everything tasted and looked alright. We would sometimes kid her because she'd be too busy asking if your oatmeal was warm enough or your coffee had enough cream in it to even eat herself. And while she didn't have much money of her own, she'd always make sure that all sixteen of her grandchildren would get a birthday and a Christmas gift from her every year.


There's so many anecdotes and amusing stories I could tell of Mama. I could talk about how she knew what everything cost in Super WalMart, I could talk about how she'd watch Family Feud on full blast while doing word search puzzles, or of her preference for shiny, metallic, open-toed sandles. I could go on and on and tell about what a wonderful presence she has been in my 22 years. I do know that we will miss her badly and she'll always be remembered in our hearts and minds as the matriarch of the family, the one that persevered through so much and did so with grace and dignity. Goodbye Mama, we'll miss you.