Goodbye, Mama

Last night my grandmother passed away. Upon hearing the news, I've gone through a plethora of emotions from sadness and solemness to peacefulness and happiness. Today has been a bizarre day as I struggle to hold back tears and yet come to grips that I'll never see her again.


We all called her Mama (pronounced Muh-Muh), which was what she called her mother. Mama was a unique lady. She was tough on the outside but underneath the veneer she was a thoughtful, warm, youthful woman who had a wonderful sense of humor. Her chuckle was infectious - anytime you heard her laugh it would inexplicably create laughter for all!


Some of my earliest memories of Mama was when I was about four or five years old. Those were my "rough" years, as I was adjusting to gaining a baby sister and not being the center of attention anymore. At the time, I had somewhat of a displaced sense of humor that oftentimes was mistaken for being bratty and rude. Admittedly, I did offend some - such as the time that I told my aunt that she was an "ugly lady" (although she's far from it). While I stepped on the toes of many, Mama always seemed to understand my sense of humor and take it in stride. She used to come up behind me and "squeeze my peaches" (butt cheeks) and it would instantly cause me to erupt in laughter. I was so amused by her squeezing my peaches, that I would ask her to do it and say it over and over again. It must have driven her nuts, but she never let me know it.

Since my family is from the Buffalo, NY area, we have always been dedicated Bills fans. Mama was no exception. During the Bills' glory days, she would sit on the couch on Sunday afternoons and cheer for them. I got to experience one such occasion that has left a lasting impression on me several years later. We were at my Uncle Matt's house and Mama, with beer in hand, sat down and started to watch the game. After only a couple of minutes of watching the game, Mama's blood starting to boil after the Bills, in typical fashion, started to let the game slip away. It was hilarious to witness my grandmother on the couch going nuts and yelling at the players to shape up and start playing football like real men!


Mama was also incredibly thoughtful and humble. She came to Wilmington in the summer of 2000 after my mom had major surgery. Mama was there to not only take care of mom in recovery, but also to take care of the household in lieu of mom's absence. I remember coming home one day from the beach, and Mama had already cooked dinner, cleaned the house, made sure mom was comfortable, and was scrubbing under the stovetop burners with a toothbrush! If you were fortunate enough to have Mama cook for you, you wouldn't go hungry because she would make a pot of spaghetti or soup enough for an entire Army Battalion. I suppose that is the way to do it when you have seven children and sixteen grandchildren. Anytime you ate at her house, Mama would make sure you had plenty to eat, plenty to drink, and everything tasted and looked alright. We would sometimes kid her because she'd be too busy asking if your oatmeal was warm enough or your coffee had enough cream in it to even eat herself. And while she didn't have much money of her own, she'd always make sure that all sixteen of her grandchildren would get a birthday and a Christmas gift from her every year.


There's so many anecdotes and amusing stories I could tell of Mama. I could talk about how she knew what everything cost in Super WalMart, I could talk about how she'd watch Family Feud on full blast while doing word search puzzles, or of her preference for shiny, metallic, open-toed sandles. I could go on and on and tell about what a wonderful presence she has been in my 22 years. I do know that we will miss her badly and she'll always be remembered in our hearts and minds as the matriarch of the family, the one that persevered through so much and did so with grace and dignity. Goodbye Mama, we'll miss you.

Welcome to my blog! A Year in Review:

Well, I have finally caved in to this blog thing and created my own. For one, I really like reading other people's blogs and kept thinking to myself that this would be a great way to keep in touch friends and family that I'm not able to see often and keep them in the loop.

This past year has been a whirlwind for me. This time last year I was preparing to graduate from NC State University. Final exams, projects, papers, and plans were still in the works as I was trying to figure out what the heck I wanted to do after May 12th. I didn't have any job offers yet, but I did know I was ready to leave the Raleigh area. It was just time to move on. Graduation came and went, and I came back to Wilmington to figure out what's next.

So I went to Wilmington and started my job search but eventually the days turned into weeks and soon it was the middle of July and I still hadn't had a job offer. I was a little discouraged, but I kept my chin up and tried to remain positive. I was able to take a trip to Los Angeles to see my sister Melissa and brother-in-law Brent, as well as my birthplace Riverside, CA. Here's a picture of me in front of our old house.

In the meantime, I met my wonderful boyfriend Will in Wilmington. He was completing his degree from UNC-Wilmington and was working at the Ft. Fisher Air Force Recreation Area as the summer intern. My younger sister, Hannah, was a recreation aid at the base and had called me one afternoon to come visit her at work and bring her a Subway sandwich. So being a thoughtful sister, I came to eat lunch with her. We were sitting behind the employee partition when I noticed a cute blonde guy walking in on his phone. I knew he was an employee since he had the Ft. Fisher shirt on, so I asked Hannah all the basics: name, age, availability, etc. Finally the cute blonde boy got off his cell phone, and came over to where we were eating and introduced himself to me. He sat down and we started to chat over the next hour or so, and he finally got my number. He called later and we've been together ever since. That was almost a year ago.

The summer turned into fall. I was working part-time while job searching full-time. Will's internship ended in September, and he left to go back to his hometown of Gastonia, NC to work with his family's business. Obviously a long distance relationship isn't ideal, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship, but we made due. I'd come to Gastonia to see Will every couple of weekends. The job front had intermittent periods of nothing to something, but eventually nothing panned out. Finally, I had a ray of hope that a job opportunity with corporate Bank of America would work out in Charlotte. It would be a tremendous opportunity with lots of room to climb the latter and make it in the banking business. However, the job was VERY competitive with hundreds of applicants and several selected candidates. I was fortunate to be a selected candidate and went through several interviews, but in the end they decided to hire internally. Another disappointment.

Before I knew it, Christmas was fast approaching. Melissa and Brent came home for the holidays and we had a normal family Christmas. However, in the back of my mind I was becoming increasingly unhappy with my unemployment. It was frustrating to be trying so hard to reach a goal, but nothing moved. I started to question what was wrong with me that I wasn't getting hired. I would get very depressed at times. Also, how ironic was that half my life was really good with my friends, family, and boyfriend but the other half (work, financial) was lacking? I knew I had to do something so I put my trust in the Lord and made a move. I came to Charlotte to get a job.

I felt led to come here. Work was more readily available there and I felt that I needed to physically be here to be available for interviews or work as soon as possible. Also, I'd be closer to Will. I won't lie, that was a factor. I knew that this relationship was lasting. Nonetheless, the best route to go to find work was through an employment agency. It was the fastest way and plus it was only temporary jobs so if I hated it, I wasn't bound to be there forever. I was ready to jump into the working world!

However, the first assignment they gave me in January was TERRIBLE. It was a 6-8 week commitment at a company that sold candles that eliminate pet odor. The job you may ask? Cold calling vet clinics and pet stores and asking them to sample the candle. Now if you know me, you probably know that I hate talking on the phone. So to be soliciting these poor people on the phone was excruciating for me. I mean, we all hate those pesky salespeople that always call during the most inopportune time. Now I was one of them! Thankfully, the company only used me for 4 weeks, and while I was glad to be getting full time work and a paycheck, I knew I wouldn't miss that job at all.

After that job ended, I was back to square one: job-searching again. But God is always faithful and somehow provided me another opportunity - a better, permanent job. Which leads me to where I am today. I have been working for an engineering firm for almost two months now and I love it. I serve as the manager of the office as well as the project assistant for two electrical engineers. I love the challenges of learning the engineering lingo as well as the technology and I am eternally grateful that these people gave me the chance. But more so than that, I see the trail that God has paved for me over the last year. It was a year of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but He pulled me through. I am now financially independent. I own a car, I pay rent for a 1 bedroom apartment, and I pay my own MasterCard bill every month. Yes, I've come a long way in the last year.